What Type of Listener is He?

What is Wrong with Men and Why Can’t They Just Listen?

Are women the most boring and miserable creatures on this earth, or what?  Well, this is what most men seem to think.  Listening is a vital part to any relationship.  It’s so vital that many relationships end because of this reason alone.  I know that it is possible for a man to listen to you.  I know this because I have experienced it, for many years with my husband.

Do Men Stop Listening with Age?

My husband and I have been together for 7 years and married for 4 of those 7 years.  We met in our early twenties.  I can tell you as a fact that my husband did once listen to me.  He once engaged in meaningful conversation with me.  He once took a genuine interest in what I had to say.  He even once laughed at some of my jokes.  Now, he interrupts me and changes the subject whenever I try to talk.  He asks me how my day is going only to interrupt me when I’m answering him.  Now you men are probably thinking , “Quit talking to him about your, “feelings” and quit nagging him!”  Well guys, I hate to disappoint you, but I’m almost like a guy when it comes to those things.  I don’t sit around talking about feelings all day, I just don’t.

I am an entrepreneur at heart.  I come up with a lot of ideas and sometimes I just want to bounce them off of my husbands brain.  Well, he could care less.  He changes the subject before I can even finish what I’m saying.  I wouldn’t treat a stranger the way he treats me sometimes.  He changes the subject about everything, no matter how big or small.

I can’t feel close to him when he treats me this way.  I feel so unimportant.  He was once my best friend and now I have nothing.  Sex, or advances towards sex, is the only closeness we have.  It’s completely superficial.  He once called me during the day and we talked a lot (he works out in the field).  Now, he is too busy on the phone with guys from work.  He even comes home from work on the phone.  These guys call all afternoon and sometimes until late in the night.  If I ever call my husband during the day, I am shortly put on conference call with his guy friends.  If I’m not placed on conference call, I’m put on hold for an hour.  He has left me on hold for so long that I have put my phone on speaker, placed it on the charger and walked away from it (think of being put on hold at a call center).  These long hold times are not due to his work but due to his friends (co-workers) calling.  I know this because he tells me.  Sometimes, he even forgets that I’m on hold and I eventually just hang up.

A Vow to Stop Trying

I am making a vow today, to stop including him in my life.  I will keep these things to myself unless he specifically asks.  I am tired of feeling heartbroken each time I try to tell him about something that matters to me.  This isn’t anything new.  He’s not just tired from work, he’s like this 24 hours a day.  He has even ignored me when I have attempted to share a milestone of our small children with him.  I’m waving my red flag today, I officially give up.  I know that some of you are going to say that he’s cheating on me.  As a matter of fact, he is cheating on me!  He is cheating on me with a bunch of goons.  He uses every bit of emotional energy that he has on these goons.  His most favorite goon is a woman hater himself and is trying to cheat on his wife with my sister-in-law!

You are who you keep as company.  This is what bothers me.  He has changed since meeting these goons at work.  It all started when he changed jobs.  Lucky for me, we are moving soon.  Goodbye goons, goodbye cruel life!

There are 3 Types of Listeners (Men)

Type 1 – This listener isn’t actually meaning to ignore you.  His mind is always preoccupied, whether it be tv or his long day, his mind is just too busy.  Most of the time it just takes a little push to get him to listen.  He really doesn’t mean to do this on purpose.  This is the type of listener most men will tell you that they are.  They will use this as an excuse.  Not all men are this type of listener.

Type 2 – This listener is meaning to ignore you.  He has such a lack of respect for you that he ignores you on purpose.  Yeah, that’s how much you mean to him.  He calls you a nag on a regular basis.

Type 3 – The selective listener.  These types of listeners ears only perk up when it’s about him or something that he’s interested in (sex is a great example).  It doesn’t matter how important the conversation is, if it’s not about him, he doesn’t care.

I have determined that my husband is type 3.  If he doesn’t feel that it concerns him, he could care less.  What type of listener is your husband/boyfriend?